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UNTIL AFTER YOU MARRY HIM!

Tiny Smalls is, or was, the warden of Hazelhurst Prison who has dwarfism and takes much offense to those who laugh at him for being short and for having a funny name and punishes them by electric chair. Smalls will even execute his own guards if he wants. He announced a gay wedding between Meat Hammer and Denzel Jackson. However, he and Meat Hammer were decapitated by Viggo Mortensen.

Warden Tiny Smalls is a devout Christian in his own twisted image and uses the Bible to guide the prison. Still, the prison is a very dangerous and poorly-regulated place for prisoners to do time in, since because of Tiny Smalls' sadistic, sarcastic and violent ways they can get raped so hard they die or they get the electric chair for very minor offenses.

Quotes[]

  • Electric chair!
  • (seeing Meat Hammer trying to use his penis to rape Denzel) YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN!!
    • Denzel: Oh, thank you baby Jesus!
    • Warden Smalls: UNTIL after you marry him!
  • While gay marriage may be legal in our fine state, gay divorce is not.
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