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Mallory

Is that an actual bear? Or Steve Buscemi?

Mallory is a female bear and the only other survivor of Malloy's species "Ursus loquacious". Her fur is slightly darker than Malloy's.

Ethel persuades Malloy to have sex with her to continue his species. After it is discovered Mallory is very ugly, Ethel and Connie give her a makeover to change Malloy's mind. At first it works until it turns out that Mallory talks very unpleasant as well and her explicit language repels Malloy away. After a long decision, Malloy decides to mate with Mallory.

She is shot by Mayor Todd Ford while humping Malloy, which led Woody to think it was Malloy because she was wearing a strap-on. Woody claims that Mallory was too ugly to live anyways. Since Ford lost the bet, Woody gets the park back while Ford dragged away Mallory's body as a trophy. Ethel then reveals that she managed to get Mallory's eggs and later on also Malloy's sperm (by jerking him off with a handjob). However, after Steve ate Malloy's semen (thinking it was yogurt), he tried replacing it with his own semen, creating a hideous human-bear hybrid that looked like half-Steve and half-Mallory. The human-bear baby begged to be put out of its misery. Todd Ford then killed it and claimed it as a trophy.

Quotes Edit

  • Wanna take this train to Fuck Town?
  • Can I taste your juice?
  • I wanna punch you in the pee-hole.
  • Hang me upside down and speed-bag my tits!
  • Shit yeah we do! (squeals) Oh, it's time to serve up some panny pudding.  Oh hell, you gonna tape me up before you split these guts? That gets my ovaries clapping and my bunghole flapping and ---