Two Weeks Notice

''Two Weeks Notice''
Season 1, Episode 2
Production Code: 104
Written by Rocky Russo Jeremy Sosenko
Directed by Brian Loschiavo
First Aired: October 2, 2012
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Two Weeks Notice is the second episode of the animated series Brickleberry. It first aired on October 2, 2012.

Plot

After having a terrible experience with speed dating and a later sexual encounter with a prostitute to console himself, Steve learns from his doctor that he contracted Cana-syphil-aids, a combination of cancer, syphilis and AIDS, that will kill him in two weeks. When he hears the news, his concerns about the afterlife increase greatly. To avoid going to Hell, he begins searching for help and the option(s) to do good deeds for his friends, that will hopefully get him into heaven. Ethel and Connie begin manipulating him to be the new and nice Steve that they never know about. Meanwhile, Woody tries to interview candidates for the new ranger position to replace Steve. Malloy also wishes for the job so he can use the standard-issue handgun to enact revenge on two raccoons that have been bullying him. However, Woody discriminates against Malloy from taking the job because he's a bear. After all applicants who showed up for the interview turn out to be inexperienced or incompetent, other than the last one, who was an certified muscular lifeguard who Woody shooed away after Malloy ratted him out that he's Canadian ("What? GET OUT OF MY OFFICE YOU DISGUSTING FREAK!"), Malloy suggests that Woody just resort to Craigslist and manipulates him into using the "Men Seeking Men" section, with Woody ending up getting a gay sex slave wanting to get raped. Therefore, Woody finally lets Malloy take over Steve's job as park ranger, but all Malloy does is use his guns to shoot the 2 raccoons with a full load and a reload's combined worth of bullets and then quits.

In the ending, Woody accidentally kills Steve with his shotgun. Steve gets teleported to Heaven where he is greeted by God, who turns out to be white. However, Steve being deceived by Denzel's god disguise, accuses God of being an imposter for not being black ("This man is a fraud! Everyone knows God is black! YOU GODDAMN GOD IMPOSTER!) and then kicks God in his testicles. God gets angry and with his nuts in pain, he "thanks" Steve by sending him to Hell… and Steve suddenly sees himself in a forest park with a sign that says "Brickleberry National Park". Steve grumbles it makes sense.

And that's the end of our story, we'll talk to you later, bye.

Quotes

[Yucko the Clown leads a bunch of blind kids into his van]

Yucko: Come on, kids. Up into the ferris wheel. There's room for everybody.

Yucko: Hey, it happened to me and I turned out alright.

---

Steve: Sorry, did you say something? I was just making a list of people who could play me in a movie. I'm uh, kind of a cross between Clooney and Pitt. You might say I'm a Clitt.

---

Denzel: It's just like Shakespeare said, "If you yak about you, your sack will turn blue but it you watch and listen, her crotch will glisten."

Steve: William Shakespeare said that?

Denzel: Who? No, my boy JeMarcus Shakespeare.

---

Steve: My earliest memory is being the fastest sperm in the balls.

---

Woody: Malloy, what are you doing?

Malloy: Getting a gun.

Woody: What have I told you about guns?

Malloy: Scratch the serial number off before you murder someone.

---

Denzel: Dat bitch was a ho.

Steve: Don't talk about Lady Tankaray like that! Besides, if she was a prostitute, why didn't I wear a condom?

---

Malloy: Can you believe my luck? That moron's dying! Now make me the new ranger and give me my gun!

Woody: [laughs] A BEAR RANGER? What's next? Forgiving your dad for making you wear panties and a padded bra just cuz he missed his dead wife? I'M NOT MOM, DAD! SHE'S GONE!

---

Priest: Me son, in order to get to heaven, you need to accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior.

Steve: Done. I fucking love him. What else?

Priest: You need to do nice things for people.

Steve: On it. I just bought myself an iPad 3 and an all-access pass to a website called PubeTube.

Priest: Steven, I mean good deeds for other people.

Steve: Oh, ... Hypothetically, what if I've neverrrr, helped another person, ... d-ever?

Priest: Then you'll burn in hell for all eternity.

Steve: I can't spend nine months in hell!

Priest: That's maternity, Steven. Eternity is forever.

---

Steve: Wouldn't it be better if I just followed you around? You're a priest.

Priest: Too busy, Steven. I've got this other gig, where I dress as a clown. [dresses as Yucko the pedophile clown]

---

Woody: Good afternoon. Welcome-

Agnel Dust: Eh, I'm gunna stop you right there. What's the company policy on angel dust?

Woody: It's illegal in the park and in these United States of America.

Angel Dust: Well, SHIT! Back in the states? Since when? Man, you know what can really make you forget where you are? Angel dust! By the way, can you advance me 20 bucks to score some angel dust?

Woody: Next!

Angel Dust: Man, I love angel dust.

---

Retard: I like lollipops.

---

Bobby: I want this job because I like animals. No, I love animals. Some people say I love animals too much. You know what I'm sayin'?

---

[Denzel has some sex hot line talk with Agnes]

Denzel: So, uh. What are you wearing right now?

Agnes: A polyester house coat and gown, why?

Denzel: No, I mean under that.

Agnes: Ohhhh, well a brazzire and a girdle.

Denzel: Noooo, baby. I mean under that.

Agnes: ... A diaper?

Denzel: Now that's nasty.

---

[Steve says his goodbyes to a blind kid for the summer]

Frankie: Thanks for the best week of my life, Steve.

Steve: Don't cry, Frankie. We'll see each other soon. Well, I'll see you soon. Oh, wait. I'll be dead.

---

Malloy: Steve, I know that you're dumb but try to listen closely. There is no God.

Steve: What?

Malloy: If there were a God, how do you explain hunger, suffering, war, ... you know, Africa?

---

[Steve sees Connie naked]

Steve: AAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAH!!!!!!! YOU'RE RIGHT! THERE IS NO GOD!!!!!!

---

Woody: Trust me, I don't need a gun to get respect.

[Woody lays his gun down on the table]

Denzel: [Walks up to Woody] What's up ya fat old mother [Woody grabs the gun] handsome strong [hand off gun] stupid ignorant-ass [hand on gun] all-around nice guy?

Trivia

Goofs

• Back in the pilot episode, Malloy sprinkled AIDS into Steve's breakfast. Even if Steve didn't get any STDs from the hooker at the beginning of the episode, why did Dr. Kuzniak still confirm he was HIV-negative?
  • Then again, this is Kuzniak, and starting from this episode we learn that he's a crappy doctor
  • Perhaps Steve actually did die from Malloy's breakfast and of course because he was so selfish, he would have went to Hell, which this episode reveals to be Brickleberry.

Gallery

You're not God! God is black!!

Steve gets sent to Hell (as God defined it)

Brickleberry High Risk Behavior