The Comeback

''The Comeback''
Season 2, Episode 2
Production Code: 2RAG03
Written by Rocky Russo & Jeremy Sosenko
Directed by Zac Moncrief
First Aired: September 10, 2013
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The Comeback will be the second episode in season 2 of Brickleberry, being the twelfth episode overall.

Plot

Woody's past life as a porn star is discovered by the rangers; Malloy tries to resurrect his career; Steve brings Denzel up to speed on the Brickleberry ghost.

Quotes

Steve: Oh no! My leftover Chinese food! It's gone!

Denzel: [has Chinese food] Steve, if I'd have known, I never would have-

Steve: And look at that. Someone drew a mustache on my ranger of the month picture! Don't you people understand!? There's only one explanation! It's the ghost!

Denzel: Yeah, uh, a ghost at your Chinese food. [hides the Chinese food]

Ethel: [holds a marker] And drew a mustache on your picture.

Connie: And uh, got drunk and took a shit on your toothbrush ... Uh, I mean uh, what ghost?

---

Steve: I never told you about the ghost that ruined my childhood? It all started 25 years ago. I got up on Christmas morning and there were no presents. My dad said the ghost stole them. Then the ghost gambled away my college fund, backed over my dog, and gave my mo two black eyes on her birthday!

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Malloy: I was looking through this porn site called Big Black Furburger.com ... What? I like full bush. I'm a bear!

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Connie: If I wasn't gay, I am now.

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Woody: It's time to bust ass!

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Woody: Back in the 70's, I made a living as a pornographic actor named Rex Erection.

Ethel: Woody Johnson wasn't a good enough porn name for you?

Woody: Huh? I-I don't get it.

---

Woody: Porn was just one of those jobs you stumble into when you're young and new to the city and you got a DISHONEST PINOCCHIO NOSE FOR A DICK!

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Connie: Why were those two men playing golf at 9:00 PM on Halloween?

Denzel: Connie, I oughtta whip your ass.

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Duke: It's time to bust ass!

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[Ethel protests against porn]

Malloy: Oh, God. What is this now?

Ethel: Do you have any idea how demeaning this is to women?

Malloy: ... Yes ... And no, you can not be in it.

Ethel: I would never be in this movie ... Wait, why can't I be in this movie? ... [self-conscious] You don't think I have trucker arms, do you? Is it my nose? [gasp] Are my boobs to small!? ... You know what? I'm not gunna fall into your little trap. [walks away] ... [runs back] [desperate] YOU PUT ME IN THIS GODDAMNED MOVIE! PUT ME IN! MALLOY! PUT ME IN THIS MOVIE!

Malloy: Fine, but I'm not gunna pay you.

Ethel: Yes, I'm pretty!

---

Medium: Don't tell me about yourself. I'll tell you about yourself. You like to eat candy.

Steve: Yes!

Medium: You don't have a girlfriend.

Steve: No!

Medium: And you brought me here for some information on ... some subject.

Steve: Oh my God! Yes! I'm looking for an evil ghost. Where do you think he is?

Medium: Uh, ... Ooh! The graveyard!

Steve: I knew it!

Denzel: Steve, can't you see this woman's playing you? This is bullshit.

Medium: Oh, a non-believer. Well, let me go check in with the other side. [gasp] I'm sensing, your grandmother mispronounces words like "Libary" and "Baffroom".

Denzel: ... Holy shit.

---

Malloy: Just take off your clothes and f**k her in her f**king c**t!

Woody: What? I couldn't hear you over all the beeps.

[A Mexican is shown pressing buttons on a microwave, which makes censored beeping nouses]

Mexican: Sorry, I was making tequilas in the microwave.

Malloy: Can someone check his green card?

---

Malloy: If I wanted a shitty actress who didn't show her tits, I would have hired Kevin James.

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Malloy: Can we soften this light a little bit? I don't need or deserve to see every wrinkle on Woody's sack.

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Malloy: [to the Mexican] How dod you get back into the country?

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[Woody does porn dressed as Osama Bin Laden]

Woody: I want you to run a train on my with your Seal Team Dicks or I'll 69/11 you.

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Chastity: I think I might wanna go to nursing school.

Malloy: I'm pretty sure they drug test.

Chastity: Oh well.

---

Dr. Kuzniak: You're a very lucky man, Woody. Everything's going to be fine.

Woody: Great! So I can perform?

Dr. Kuzniak: [chuckles] Of course you can perform ... in stage plays, Lifetime original movies, even blackface minstrel shows. Just not pornography. You see, Woody. You're suffering from a rare ailment. Multiple sclerosis.

Woody: I have multiple sclerosis!? SHIT!

Dr. Kuzniak: Oh, Heavens no. I wish you did. I said "multiple scrote cysts". As in, multiple cysts in your scrotum. Each cyst is a little ticking time bomb. Every single bounce of your ball bag brings you closer to death.

Woody: Level with me, Doc! How many thrusts do I have left!?

Dr. Kuzniak: I can't give you an exact number, Woody but it's somewhere between, say 70 and 72.

Woody: Soooo, ... 700000 ... 1? [pronounced: seh-ven-dee-wun]

Dr. Kuzniak: [laughs] If only medicine could be that precise.

---

Duke: Yo yo yo! Duke Dick in the fathersucking house!

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Flesh Devil: Susan, it is said that a good porn actor invites the audience to cum.

Susan Sarandon: Yes, Flesh Devil, but a great actor also invites the audience to feel.

---

Malloy: I'd like to accept this on behalf of Rex Erection. He wasn't sexy or handsome. He was a horrible actor but you guys will jerk off to anything.

Trivia

• This episode parodies the 1997 film Boogie Nights. Much like Mark Wahlberg's character Dirk Diggler, Woody was a rising porn star but he lost the ability to get erections due to his problems with cocaine.
• Woody's stage name "Rex Erection" is a pun on the word "resurrection", which is a synonym for this episode's title and related to the episode's plot.
• This is the first episode where Denzel gets frustated with Connie's stupidity. When watching Woody do gay porn, Connie's only question was why the two men (who were having sex with Woody) were playing golf on Halloween and Denzel angrily glared at Connie and told her "Connie, i outta whoop your ass".

Videos

Brickleberry Rex Erection

Brickleberry Porn Con

Brickleberry Season 2 Episode 2