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Cows

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Malloy screams WHAT DID I TELL YOU

Cows are an animal species that are domesticated by humans for food and dairy products. They are the main antagonists of the story arc that began in the TV series' finale episode Global Warning and the sequel comic book series Armoogeddon.

Steve surrounded

Steve gets surrounded by cows armed with laser guns, as he laments Denzel's death at their hands

They came from outer space and they at first sent only a few of their kind to settle on earth in order to raise the greenhouse gas levels so that the cows can dominate the planet. The cows mainly did so by farting and they were willing to wait for the year 71,000,000 for the earth to get hot enough, but because of Woody Johnson's stupid pollution efforts, the earth already got hot enough in 2015 (the year the episode aired). Woody begged that the cows consider sparing the humans and living together in "peace and harmony". The ambassador cow accepts this, but after the cow claims that humans slaughtered, ate and milked cows (except maybe Indian people).....the ambassador exclaims, "Well so much for peace and harmony!" then opens fire on a screaming Woody which kills him and reduces him into dust. Malloy, Ethel, Connie and Denzel also die the same gruesome way as did Woody, while the cows stun Steve then drag him away for slavery, though later on he was lucky enough to escape.

After killing the entire main cast save for Steve, 30 years went by between the TV show's finale episode and where the comic books began. Future Steve revealed that humanity waged war on the cows starting in 2015 and by 2045, they lost and their skulls were spilled all over the earth due to the warfare. Future Steve went back in time to assassinate Woody, but deciding that the cows would have come anyway, he instead arranged for humans to have been better and earlier prepared for war. This ultimately fails and the main cast become on the verge of losing the war and dying all over again until Denzel arrived with his reinforcement, Jesus Christ, to slaughter the cows and Woody unleashed a Squabbit to bring down the cow army before they can retreat back to space.

Allies Edit

  • Themselves including The Bovine Overlord (leader) and Dr. Moozniak
  • Bobby Possumcods (2045-verse) - sex slave
  • Indian people - Cause of how Indians treat cows

Enemies Edit

  • Woody, Malloy, Ethel, Denzel, Connie, Steve and Future Steve
  • Dr. Kuzniak and Jorge
  • Firecracker Jim and Buella
  • Flamey the Bear
  • Yucko
  • Todd Ford
  • Hobo Larry
  • The "angel dust" guy
  • Bobby Possumcods (2015-verse) and BoDean
  • Squabbits
  • Jesus Christ
  • Chipotle restaurants

Trivia Edit

  • The cows don't seem to like any animal species other than themselves. Other than humans, they even killed Malloy who was a bear. In the 2nd comic book, even Malloy expressed both horror and confusion over this, as he wondered for what reason cows would have to hate bears and then kill all bears.
  • The cows follow a democratic society and they elect who their leader will be in a political manner, but ironically enough the leader is still addressed as "Bovine Overlord".

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