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Armoogeddon, Part 3

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Armoogeddon, Part 3 was released on September 28th, 2016. Malloy and Future Steve go to kill Woody when he was just a child, so that the two won't get killed by the space cows. Therefore, Malloy and Future Steve go on a Terminator 2-like quest while Woody and Future Possumcods go on a Back to the Future-like quest.

Plot Summary Edit

Pages 1 to 2 Edit

........Future Bobby cock blocks Future Steve's shooting at Woody by leaping up to touch Woody and time travel to a different day. Malloy fears that now Woody has won and can't be assassinated anymore, since Denzel stole Steve's time travel stick first. Steve then admits to having hidden a second stick inside his butt opening and so he uses his Apple Watch 15s to find where Woody and Future Bobby have gone, but not before complaining even with Tim Cook dead in the future, Apple products are mediocre.

Pages 3 to 5 Edit

Malloy and Steve travel to the day 2015 Woody went, which turns out to be October 16th, 2012, also known as Squabbit Apocalypse Day, forcing the two to fight off the Squabbits from eating them. They find Woody surrounded by a ring of hundreds of hungry Squabbits but Steve wants to make sure he only wants to kill the 2015 one and the Woody he finds is obviously claiming he's the 2012 one, and Future Steve believes 2012 Woody is innocent, although Malloy complains that shouldn't matter and that killing either one of them will help prevent the cow invasion. Future Possumcods arrives at the scene (mentioning that he had to do a #2) talking to the Woody surrounded by Squabbits and so now Future Steve can tell it's 2015 Woody, though it's too late to kill him now when he kicks a "foot-kickfull" of Squabbits at Steve to eat Steve's face, and with Woody and Future Bobby escaping to another day, another time travel chase ensues between Woody and Future Bobby vs. Malloy and Future Steve.

Pages 6 to 10 Edit

In the process, they shoot Abraham Lincoln and cut off the sides of Hitler's mustache into giving it a square shape. Finally, they arrive at Howland Island and Future Steve, fed up with the chasing, punches Future Bobby hard and tries to kill Woody with a highly inaccurate Musket from the Civil War which fails because it shoots down a charter plane instead. Future Steve then prepares to beat Woody to death with his own hands, but Woody easily knocks him out with one punch leaving Future Steve badly hurt. Malloy insults his "assassination skills", making Future Steve whine his mission would be easier if he just had to kill a kid instead of a grown man. Future Steve and Malloy then decide to go back in time and kill Woody when he was only a kid, as while Woody thinks that means they're going to stop his parents from conceiving him. However, their time travel stick doesn't seem to work and panicking, Woody goes to Einstein's home, ties him up and starts punching him senselessly to repair the stick......right until Possumcods figures out the batteries were just dead.

Pages 10 to 15 Edit

Steve and Malloy find 8-year old Woody, living with his mother Anita and his mother's poodle. It's his 8th birthday, and Steve lies to them that he's visiting because he's his uncle, Uncle Roostaspoonberger, and that Malloy is his "Armenian midget lover" (which obviously angers Malloy, given that Future Steve could have just lied that he's his pet bear). Malloy orders Future Steve to kill 8-year old Woody now, but Future Steve claims that he'll do it after his birthday, not wanting to kill him on his birthday. Even though Future Steve expected Woody to have a wonderful birthday before his death, Anita won't let Woody even eat 1 sprinkle (interestingly she let Malloy and Steve have cake!), only gives presents to her poodle and no decent presents at all for Woody, and she has her poodle eat up all of Woody's birthday cake. As 8-year old Woody reaches for a sprinkle, his arm gets bitten hard by the poodle and it bleeds. Future Steve and Malloy then see that kid Woody lives in a closet who doesn't even get his own decent bed and the closet is infested with rats, forcing kid Woody to put out mousetraps to kill them. Future Steve can't bear to let Woody have this on his birthday, and instead of killing kid Woody, takes him to the fun theme park Welcome Back Kotterland and gifts him with many souvenirs and balloons for him, letting Woody have a real birthday. However, Malloy reminds Future Steve that feeling sorry for kid Woody won't make the impending cow invasion go away and commands him to strangle 8-year old Woody to death using a puppet Horshack.

Pages 16 to 22 Edit

Woody travels back to the time when his mom and dad physically conceived him, and his mom Anita shoots away Future Bobby in the chest with a double-barrel shotgun. Woody's dad lashes out at Anita for bringing in a queer into their house (as Woody told them he's Rick Swordfire) then storms off to the bar, and it is proven that Woody's parents' marriage is very hostile even before he was born. Woody then lectures his mom how to appear more sexually attractive to appeal to his dad by making her dress like a prostitute. Then, Anita hears that Woody's dad driving back home, but he just passes out from alcohol and Woody's advice for Anita didn't work. Anita then cries that no man would ever want to be with her, and so Woody tries to cheer her up with alcohol. In addition, Woody drinks up the entire rest of the bottle as he decides to make the best of the last hours that he exists in. Woody passes out from drinking, only to wake up in bed next to his naked mom! Woody's now his own dad!

Please proceed to this page to find out what happens next.

Trivia Edit

  • Woody's father appears in one page, except his face is never shown. He never appeared in the series, as he was only mentioned several times throughout the series.

Pop Culture References Edit

  • Malloy and Steve's plan to kill 8-year old Woody is a direct parody of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. In addition, child Woody having to live with his abusive mother (Anita) is similar to how kid John Connor had to live with uncaring and abusive foster parents.
  • Woody and Future Possumcods' plan to ensure that Woody's parents do have intercourse so that Woody does get born is a direct parody of Back to the Future.

Goofs Edit

  • In this comic book, it is established that Squabbit Apocalypse Day was October 16th, 2012, the exact day the episode aired on TV. However, back in The Animals Strike Back, Steve's calendar said it was on April 30th.
    • Although that may have been just Steve making an error on his calendar, since he's an idiot.

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